Yoni is the Sanskrit word for "sacred temple" or "divine passage", referring to the womb space. It’s no secret that the womb is the source of life and fertility. While it is life-bearing and responsible for so much creativity, this space also gathers and stores a lot of energy, emotions and tension.
Yoni de-armouring is a gentle massage that moves stagnant energy and clears tension, blockages and trauma stored within the body. It is a powerful practice that brings awareness to emotions, numbness, pain and pleasure. It can truly be a profound contributor to sexual awakening, healing and self-discovery as it is known to increase pelvic awareness and build and deepen orgasm.
One of the things I love most about yoni massage is that it allows women to experience pleasure as a way of life. Pleasure is so much more than just penetrative sex and I really believe that this is a strong misconception in society. For this reason, yoni de-armouring is not a sexual massage although it doesn’t suppress pleasure should it naturally arise. Yoni massage is powerful in unconditioning and rewriting your relationship to yourself, pleasure, sex and intimacy.
Yoni massage can be performed solo or with a trusted partner. To fully surrender and explore all that comes up it is really important that you feel safe and comfortable to express yourself in any way you may feel called. Deep presence and vulnerability is a must for the experience to be healing. If your intuition is strong, allow it to guide you in deciding how best to go about this practice.
Otherwise I encourage you to first do this alone. Building connection with your body will deepen connection with your intuition, boundaries and your own energy. Once you own this, you can intuitively decide to build deeper connections and be more vulnerable with a partner. While this experience sounds incredibly exciting and tempting to share it with a lover, I deeply urge you to make this decision wisely as this can create deep energetic and emotional bonds. In my opinion, a stable loving committed partnership or at the very least really clear intentions and boundaries are required otherwise solo is best.
Should you decide to do this with a partner you want to make sure you both agree on four pillars within the practice - consent, communication, intention and no judgment. This is imperative and I do not recommend engaging in a shared practice without this agreement. Consent involves boundaries and discussing the flow of the practice. Both parties should know what they are engaging in together and have enough time to prepare. This isn’t something you want to spring on to a lover.
Both commit to communicating throughout the entire experience. It can be healing and liberating for the giver and the receiver so create a space where both can communicate any emotions, sensations, resistance or feelings that come up. Always honour each other's boundaries and know that at any time you can stop or say no without any explanation.
Discuss your intentions and then surrender to them all. Here you really want to focus on intentions like opening the heart, creating deeper connections or exploring erogenous zones. Intentions are not the same as expectations and goals. It is essential that there is no obsessive desire to orgasm, squirt, release trauma etc. Removing all pressure to perform and holding space for giving and receiving without any goal allows you both to bear witness without any disappointment and welcomes freedom of true unapologetic expression.
Allow the receiver to express without any judgment. Trust that they will communicate what and when they want to. This experience can be so deep that it may take time to articulate. The giver's role here is to create a safe container and not to question or probe any reactions, emotions or feelings that arise. This is when the healing happens. In my opinion, there is very little that love alone cannot overcome.
This practice can be invigorating for the giver and the receiver. It is important to note that sex is not recommended before or after the yoni massage. If this is a deep healing experience for the receiver, the body will go into an integration and purification process. Whether it is awakening of sexual sensation, clearing of trauma, processing of suppressed emotions, the giver will transfer this energy during penetrative sex making it counterproductive for the giver and disturbing the awareness of the receiver’s healing journey.
If you decide to do the yoni massage alone, create a safe space and include the whole body. Use your voice to express yourself, keep a journal close by and bear your own witness to the journey. Honour your boundaries and listen to your body. It sounds easy but it is not only other people that overstep personal boundaries. Just think how many times you have shoved up a tampon without asking your body permission.
This can all create tension within the muscle. There is no shame in this, more often than not it is because we are not taught how to honour and love on our own body. For this reason, I recommend every woman to have a committed solo yoni massage practice as it is exhilarating and powerful. Go slow and feel every inch in your body. Let her be your guide and your vibrancy will unfold.
Yoni de-armouring is based around the three levels of pleasure, healing and connection. This is really about allowing yourself to express yourself and explore whatever comes up. You may feel nothing to start, this is very common and the body will resensitize over time. There is deep wisdom in numbness if you are willing to listen.
You may feel some slight sensation, celebrate that and witness it expand. If difficult emotions arise remember that emotions are energy, so if anger comes up, this energy can actually be transferred into orgasmic energy. This may take some time so at first acknowledge yourself for feeling it and use breath, movement and sound to circulate and clear it out the body. You might feel all kinds of desires and unleash your erotic wild ecstasy. Whatever it looks like for you, be present. Every practice may look different and that is the beauty of healing that this journey offers.
Observe and explore without judgment. This might be challenging at first as that is what years of conditioning will do. You may be upset that you are not feeling or acting in a certain way, you might find yourself focusing on or rushing the orgasm or you might just think this is plain out weird. Allow yourself to uncondition from all the noise coming up. Acknowledge it and if it no longer serves you, allow it to move on and out of your life and follow your intuitive instincts in expression. Unconditioning and de-armouring are really powerful practices to ecstatic sex and a turned on life.
One of the main areas that women store a lot of emotions and tension is in the cervix. Every individual is different so it may be the g-spot, labia, a-spot or any other area for you. If you at all experience any pain, be really gentle and slow. Know that this is common but not necessarily normal. Allowing yourself to relax into the feelings that are coming up and committing to the process will soften and relax the area. This work is truly powerful if you allow it to be. A committed yoni massage will resensitize your yoni from prolonged use of a vibrator, awaken sleepy tissues and muscles, clear physical and emotional trauma and enhance your orgasmic power.
A Native Nude Pleasure Wand™ will definitely support and empower your yoni massage practice. When de-armouring it is important that you are fully relaxed. The last thing you want is to tense your muscles in a practice aimed at softening and relaxing them. The wand is the perfect firm surface that allows you to press on pressure and pleasure points with very little effort. Authentic crystal pleasure wands also naturally warm up with the body and retain that heat, this warmth is so beneficial for clearing tension and tightness out of muscles.
Pleasure wands help you reach every inch of your body and really de-armour and awaken the entire yoni. They can also be really helpful during partnered yoni massage as it allows the giver to give without getting tired so that he/she can focus his/her energy and attention on holding space and acknowledging all that comes up for the receiver. Every body is different, so learn what works best for you when de-armouring. These are just some of my best tips to fully enjoy and hold presence during the experience.
Through my yoni massage studies and my personal yoni massage practices, I truly believe yoni de-armouring to be pivotal to any womb or energetic womb journey. My commitment to you is to share and equip you truthfully. Yoni massage is powerful when executed correctly.
There are some certified practitioners that specialize in yoni massage. I cannot iterate enough the importance of choosing who to share this with. With practitioners I would only recommend a friend or doctor referral or well known experts in the field. As you can imagine, this is a really vulnerable practice and if the space is not held correctly and boundaries are not honoured it can traumatize or re-traumatize an individual. This goes for selecting a practitioner or partner and the decision should be made with great care.
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