The inner child is considered to be part of the subconscious part of your experiences, beliefs, feelings and thoughts from childhood, that are still showing up in your present reality. The lessons, perceptions, actions, opinions and beliefs we learn from a young age, particularly ages 0-7 and if we're going to be really generous 0-14 years, have a huge impact on who we become as adults. This is true from the way we feel about ourselves to our relationship with our sexuality and life itself.
Working with the inner child is one of the foundations for deep transformation and ownership of your own life. In regards to sexuality, there is a sexual innocence that comes with childhood that is often shut down, shamed or made timid. This can all show up in our matured sexual essence. It is important to nurture your inner child, set boundaries and reparent where necessary to allow full sexual desire and awakening.
The inner child may also be showing up in how you relate in your intimate partnership, friendships, finances and wealth, health, business and career etc. For example, the inner child wants to play, be held, heard and supported and explore in innocence. The inner child doesn't necessarily know how to have the discipline and discernment with business, finances or communication nor does it want to.
So you want to get clear on where you are allowing your inner child or adult to take the lead. For example, your childlike expression when playing with children or when in fun social settings but your matured self showing up in the bedroom or boardroom. This doesn't mean the adult is not playful, but the adult nurtures the inner child instead of the inner child throwing tantrums or freaking out with the adult no where to be seen. So you don't have your inner child showing up when having sex with this sense of shame, shyness or fear or when it is time to have a serious conversation and you avoid, hide or feel in trouble.
When we can connect with and understand our own inner child, we'll make the lives of children far easier because there will be a deeper embodiment of the adult and child role within. So that we no longer have adults as "children" raising children. What I have found, is that through understanding the inner child, the adult sense of self is empowered and this supports us tremendously in living out our desires.
Below is some inspiration from the Native Nude Collective on their realizations, breakthroughs and celebrations with their inner child.
"A particular recollection. Mom and I were shopping and I wanted a — admittedly pretty wild — gold jumpsuit. (Early 2000’s space glam) so I could be this sexy space alien I envisioned myself as. and she said no. and the no was accompanied by the shaming statement and condition that I was too fast to wear something like that and that if I lost weight she might consider buying it for me. and so I walked away with this coding: “Unless I or anyone else thinks you look good enough — you do not deserve to express yourself as the goddess you think you are.” I didn’t lose the weight then. In fact, I believe I gained more. Turning to food to quell my shame and loneliness, turning to baggier less sexy clothes and harsher, passive aggressive behavior to the accompany it. Adopting wounded masculine energy to eradicate the pain of my wounded feminine. This is heartbreaking to acknowledge. This is is liberating and heart healing to forgive. I am allowed — The permission is given me— to me and from source only and eternally— to be who ever I wish, however I wish on any terms which feel true for my soul. Even as that young child, reliant upon her mother financially for acquiring things, my reliance and alliance was only meant for source and now it is. And no it clearly is. I have agency beyond the physical. Beyond inquiring, beyond owning or having something. I am free to express my true self. I deserve. Always. I am deserving. I am good enough. I do not and will not, alter myself out of punishment to conform to what someone else deems worthy."
- Maxine, South Africa
“It makes sense you know, flowing with nature. We’ve been doing it since the beginning of time. We don’t question it. Like, the earth kissing my bare feet. The tree brushing against my hand. The wind playing with my hair. The moon bringing silver hues to the ocean water on my skin. The roses blooming with me. A butterfly landing on my knee. The birds singing for my waking. The sun pouring warm honey into my skin. An apple bringing me nourishment. A crystal that takes me places I long to go. Erotic innocence. It’s a coming home. A natural awakening. A natural learning. A natural expanding. A part of who we are.”
- Rachel, South Africa
"I am still processing the power and insights that came with the Rewilding Rituals. It was mad! Through surrendering, I met another part of my inner child and came to understand that it was a fearful voice that encouraged my unhealthy/ bingey relationship to food. I began to know her, accept her and reparent her throughout the week. I am now truly loving my body and looking after her in such a radical way! And it feels like the chub I carried for so long is no longer needed. It's still crazy to me that this work has allowed such radical change in something I've struggled with since I was a little girl. Your work is life changing. Thank you, Thank you!"
- Abigail, South Africa
"My heart is breaking open. I’m feeling through transformational healing at the moment. During a sacred ritual held by the magical Native Nude yesterday, I met parts of myself that I haven’t been able to access with such clarity before. I wept with grief, rage and sadness meeting my inner child who fought so hard to be held. I was flooded with memories of her losing her voice along the way and in that silence, giving away her power. During the ritual my body told me to dance, just like the girl I knew in this photo. And I followed her. I danced through the helplessness, the neediness, the longing and the shame. All I had wanted was for someone to be my hero, and it has been me all along. Forgiveness. Release. Relief. Reclamation. Only you know your own way home. And so, I’m allowing my heart to break a little more open towards the light that lies beyond."
- Nicola, South Africa
"Shani, thank you. Thank you for holding space for me, for us all, for giving me the chance to breathe and dance and cry my flipping eyes out so much that I couldn't even turn my camera back on because I cried make up all down my face haha! I didn't even know how much I needed this. I had flashes to a past life dancing with my mum who was my sister then, and I felt so free and wild and uninhibited. Now I just want to tap into this more... to get comfortable with walking around my apartment naked and loving my body and focus on deeper intimacy with my partner. I felt like a child again, free and flowy and strong. I'm bringing that playfulness back into my life. Even the singing in the beginning, my god, it felt good. I'm already excited for the next ritual. So much love for you! "
- Siobhan, Scotland
Curious about the inner child now?
Read this journal article
more on how your inner child may be influencing your life.